It was steep. It was challenging. But I climbed the mountain. The first ascent was done.
On the 2nd ascent, I started getting a dull pain in my hip. I didn’t think much of it. I told myself it was going to go away. My knees had often hurt during training, and that pain always went away after awhile. Why would my hip pain be any different?
But it progressively got worse and worse.
After my 4th ascent, my hips were screaming at me to stop. I could barely walk! I went to the recovery room to get treated. All I could think about was that I was falling behind.
The treatment was painful, but more bothersome to me was the clock, still ticking. Even this early on, I felt the pressure of running out of time.
I was sore. I was tired. I was in pain. I wanted to quit. I was honestly inches away from throwing in the towel.
Then one of the coaches came by, and he said, “If you don’t get back out on the mountain, it’s just going to keep getting harder.”
I know it came from him wanting to help, but I wanted to punch him in the face! Of course I knew I had to get back out on the mountain, that was obvious. I just didn’t think that I could make it to the finish anymore. It felt like the Red Hat was slipping out of my grasp so early into the day.
In serious pain, I finally started my 5th ascent. Each step was excruciating! When I made it to the first aid station, I broke down. I threw my hiking poles to the ground and collapsed into uncontrollable sobs. My emotions were out there for everyone to see, mid-breakdown. But nobody gave it a second look - I got the space I needed to go through whatever it was that I was going through.
In hindsight, it was a tipping point for me. I needed to feel and process what was going on in my body through that breaking point. After that, I took a deep breath, wiped my tears, grabbed my hiking poles, and stood up.