Mona Patel

I Found My Voice

By 29029 Everesting

September 6^th, 2019

I’M COMING BACK

I learned a lot about myself as a result of 29029. It would be easy to look at my outcome in Utah and say that I failed, but the experience was so much more than that. Although I did not reach my goal, I left feeling very fulfilled and, energized. Several things made the weekend so memorable, but mainly the like-minded people that I met.

I'm coming back to Vermont in 2019 because I want to finish what I started. Last time my goal was to climb the vertical height of Denali, this time, my goal is to climb the vertical height of Mt Everest. I want that Red Bib and I want to reach 29,029 feet. I am training harder and smarter and, I can't wait to push through new limits as I hit the inevitable emotional and physical walls.

I will get up Stratton Mountain 17 times!

Strength and hope

In the spring of 1990, my life took an unexpected turn. I was hit by a drunk driver while I was walking on my college campus. I sustained compound fractures to my right tibia and fibula and collapsed lungs. My parents were faced with the decision of either below-knee amputation or to try to salvage my leg. They opted for limb salvage. I had twenty surgeries over the next 7 years.

I became tired of going under the knife, the repeated cycle of physical therapy, of limited mobility and endurance. And I was especially tired of chronic pain.

As I was getting ready for a twenty-first salvage surgery, I found myself at a crossroad. To continue this pattern, or to proceed with below-knee amputation. Before making the decision, I looked for an amputee support group, I wanted to talk to other amputees about life with limb loss. I did find one sweet lady who had 3 children after her amputation. She gave me so much confidence and peace that I'd be just fine. At that moment I vowed that once I got back on my feet, I'd start a group. That was 21 years ago.

I am proud to say that what began with a handful of members has turned into a thriving nonprofit organization and is one of the most robust amputee support programs in the country.

In that time, thousands have come to me in need of strength, hope, and direction. Many were suffering from depression and fear, and I've witnessed them persevere and achieve goals they didn't believe they could. I am living my life purpose and paying forward the many blessings I have received.

The Cloud Walkers

In 2015, I led a team, dubbed the Cloud Walkers to the summit of Mt Kilimanjaro. Our group consisted of 9 amputees, 4 medics, and a 3-man film crew. I was the only woman.

The project taught me so much about myself and my leadership skills. A big part of this expedition to 19,341 feet was to come back and share a testimony of how our journey to climb a mountain can translate into everyday life. Yes, we literally climbed a mountain, but with the right mindset, anyone can ascend the mountains that show up in their life.

People often tell me that I inspire them. I graciously thank them, and when time allows, I ask them how they think the inspiration will help them in their lives. It gets them to think, and I can only hope that perhaps a few of these kind people will have a new outlook or perspective.

MY Culture

I was raised in Los Angeles by my loving and devoted East-Indian immigrant parents. We traveled all over the world, had get-togethers with extended family every weekend, and celebrated milestones in a big way. My childhood was a happy one, but not void of challenges. Being raised by traditional eastern parents in the western world was interesting. The patriarchal culture and practice of arranged marriages dictated the rules I was to abide by. I was expected to be home upon the dismissal bell, either studying or helping mom in the kitchen. No sports, or extra-curricular activities. The logic was that my parents needed to protect my reputation, increasing my chances of marrying into a really good family. I was led to believe that the only roles females were worthy of playing were of a devoted wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law and self-sacrificing mother.

I never questioned or rebelled against my parents because I respected my culture and loved my parents even more. I understood that it was what they knew and felt was for my best interest. But I will admit, I did have a voice that I wanted to use. I wanted to be social, run track, be involved with clubs, but it simply wasn't allowed. Just in case I was unhappy in my arranged marriage and wanted out, I wanted a safety net of education to fall back on.

At the age of 15, I overheard my mother on the telephone with a matchmaker, he was asking my readiness for marriage. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I went to school the next morning to speak with my school counselor. I explained my situation, telling him I needed to graduate as quickly as possible so I could enroll in college. I got my driver's license, graduated high school, and started college at the age of 16.

POSITIVE AND STRONG

After my accident, I woke up in ICU, at that moment, I was grateful to be alive and even more grateful to see my mom and dad at my bedside. The visual of seeing your child attached to life-sustaining machines must be a difficult one for any parent. I'll never forget that day as I lay in the hospital, my parents crying at my bedside.

I thought I understood the extent of their grief, but as they shared their additional concerns, I was taken aback. They explained to me that because of my disability, I would be labeled 'damaged' and no longer desired by any marital suitors. My suffering had already devastated my parents, and the anticipated judgments broke their spirits even more. I knew I had an important choice to make. Thankfully, I had the strength and wisdom to know I had to fight and try my best to stay positive and strong.

At age 22, I found an Indian man who accepted me despite my disability. He was the son of very close family friends. My parents and his had a 30-year friendship; we were all very much like family.

Once we decided to move forward with marriage, he excitedly went to his parents' home to share our decision. Their reaction shook us to our core, the news was met with disapproval, and he was given an ultimatum, her or us. They did not want a cripple in their family. He chose me, and he was disowned. We had a beautiful Indian wedding and, I was so proud of this man who bravely took my hand in marriage without the presence and support of a single person from his family.

GRATEFUL

By this point, I was ready to unleash my voice but was not permitted to. Even though my husband and I were born and raised in the US, we still abided by cultural expectations. I was responsible for managing the household and assuming all of the child-rearing responsibilities. My husband ruled the house. I still had no voice and was to do as he said.

15 years into the marriage, and two children later, our marriage came to an end, and I found myself divorced and raising two daughters on my own. In the challenge of being a single mother, I also realized that I was finally going to be free and liberated from my cultural limitations. A new woman was born. A woman free to use her voice. A voice that I've used to share my story with thousands of people over the last 2 decades. I hope that I give people the courage to climb the mountains they face in their lives.

There is nothing special about me, I'm merely someone who embraces life, and I'm grateful for the good and hard times alike.

if i can do it, so can you

I was fortunate to meet George, and we've been dating for 7 years, he taught me the importance of living life with goals. In 2013 he supported me on my fitness journey. I signed up for an event called SealFit led by Commander Mark Devine, it was SealFit with a twist, and only for adaptive athletes. Dedicated to the program, I transformed my body in 3 months, and kicked ass! The experience changed my mindset completely, giving me so much physical and mental confidence. Once that was over, George asked me, what's next? A series of life-changing challenges ensued, including the project to Kilimanjaro and eventually led us to 29029.

George and I came to 29029 together with my daughter Anaya. She is not athletic at all, but to watch her push her limits summit after summit was very special. After George succumbed to an existing injury after 4 summits, Anaya took on the role of hiking with me. She accepted my pace and was so encouraging. She'd walk ahead of me and patiently wait, "you got this Momma, you're doing great!" I came out of my 29029 experience with an even deeper appreciation for my immediate support system. I never take them for granted, but it was a reminder of how blessed I am to have such loving people in my corner.

The beautiful byproduct of my efforts and journeys is that they have an impact on so many others. I share my experiences, not for any type of praise or accolade or recognition. I share as it is a way to get people to dream bigger, to step out of their comfort zones, to set goals, and believe in their own extraordinary capabilities.