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James Murphy

When Life Hit Hard, I Hit the Mountain

By 29029 Everesting

February 24^th, 2023

It was just another regular day when Eleni, a friend of mine for over 15 years, called me up. We exchanged the usual hellos before she dove right in.

“I’ve really wanted to do this thing for a while. It’s called 29029. You hike up a mountain a bunch of times… Do you want to do it with me?” she asked.

Now I should probably explain: Eleni and I have done quite a few events together, usually marathons or the like, so a conversation like this was not unusual. It also meant I was already primed to say yes.

“Yea, sure,” I replied. It was an automatic response. “Sounds cool.”

“Here’s the thing,” she said, an almost mysterious tone hanging on her voice. “You have to sign up today. This thing sells out instantly. I missed it last year when I wanted to go, so if you want to join me, you have to decide today.”

There wasn’t a lot of time for me to think about it, so I said yes and found myself registering.

While I’d love to sit here and say I’m normally that impulsive when it comes to signing up for a challenging event, there were a few personal reasons that I was chomping at the bit to say yes to something big.

I was in the midst of a contentious divorce at the time. It was an absolute trainwreck, with lawyers and custody battles and all other sorts of bad things. To say it was weighing on me would be an understatement.

But that wasn’t all.

My Dad, James Murphy II, had suffered a stroke the previous year, and he was partially paralyzed. He was always an active guy, so the transition was tough on my parents, and was taking an emotional toll on me as well.

Later, my parent's house flooded, and they had to move. This was all on the heels of COVID, during which my Dad had lost any of the progressions he had made after his initial stroke.

All of that was why I signed up for 29029. I was ready to focus on something constructive.

It wasn’t until after I had pulled the trigger and registered that I had a chance to truly start looking into what 29029 was really about.

This is going to be really hard.

Up to that point, my focus had been on handling setbacks and challenges. Things like moving out after the divorce, fighting for my kids, and helping my parents however I could.

Instead of only mitigating negative situations, I was ready to work on something positive. 29029 was something new and exciting I could focus on.

My Dad was a cop for 36 years. At the age of 71 he was still playing ice hockey. He had always been physically active - he actually suffered his first stroke while working out. He was doing pushups at the time right before his life changed significantly.

Leading such a physically active and impressive life, my Dad was always my inspiration for anything in that space.

After the stroke, he could barely walk again. His brain couldn’t keep up with his body, and he progressively got worse. It was gut-wrenching for me to watch that happen to my idol.

It wasn’t long after the training had started when my Dad passed away. The loss rocked me.

While all this was going on, I was still bouncing in and out of meetings with lawyers and courtrooms as the divorce proceedings continued on. Life was dealing me some body-blows!

29029 saved me from spiraling. Leaning into the training program - focusing on what it would take to get me up the mountain - helped me direct my energy into something positive.

No matter what my day-to-day threw at me, I could always retreat into training for 29029 to reset and keep my mind right. I was going to keep working towards my goal, no matter what else happened.

If 29029 wasn’t in my sights, I don’t know where I would have ended up in life. The training - the vision of the goal at the top of the mountain - made sure I got out of bed everyday. It made sure I got to the gym. It made sure I had an outlet to help with the waves of emotions I was dealing with.

I’d be running on a treadmill - at a 15% incline - and just crying, almost uncontrollably.

Thankfully, I also sweat a lot, and the tears could be confused with sweat, avoiding me a lot of awkward looks at the gym…

Right before 29029, the company I was working for was restructured. I went from having one boss to reporting to many - more or less a demotion of a few positions for me.

Then my aunt passed away.

Work was tumultuous, the divorce process was still ongoing, and I was grieving the loss of family members.

A lot was going on right before I even arrived at the start line in Snowbasin.

Was I nervous?

Absolutely!

In addition to worrying about the physical side of the event, I was going crazy over the little details.

Specifically, batteries.

That’s right: Batteries.

I wanted to make sure I had headphones that could last the whole event. I need my music the entire time to help get me through this thing!

Turns out, I didn’t need to worry about that. I didn’t put earphones in my ear even once, and I didn’t miss them for a second!

But I’m getting ahead of myself… I was nervous about being able to accomplish my goal on the mountain, and worrying about if I’d have enough battery life to listen to music the entire way was just one way of trying to deal with those nerves.

But it wasn’t the only ammo I had in getting me to the top.

I laminated a double-sided picture to take with me to Snowbasin. It was a picture I could look to for inspiration whenever I needed an extra boost.

On one side was my Dad, and on the other, my two sons.

Those were my two driving motivations on the slopes; my sons to show them that they can accomplish something very difficult, and my Dad because I knew he would be with me in spirit the whole time.

Finally, after months of training, months of grieving, months of divorce proceedings, and months of career difficulties, it was time to climb.

The participants climbing alongside me were amazing. Working towards a common goal brought us all together. It sparked an instant connection.

I learned people’s struggles, spoke with more than a few who’d also lost a parent, and found myself being far more vulnerable than I’d usually allow with a group of what could only be described as strangers.

But they wouldn’t remain strangers for long. The 29029 community brought me and all the rest of us at Snowbasin together, forging friendships and supportive relationships nearly instantly.

It wasn’t just the amazing participants I got to know, it was the volunteers too. The aid stations quickly became something to look forward to. Friendly faces were always waiting for us somewhere on the mountain, helping us continue climbing.

It was around the fifth ascent that I was losing it. The adrenaline of the early ascents had worn off.

I was hitting the wall.

The doubts started creeping in.

Then, Back in Black by AC/DC came on.

That was one of my Dad’s favorite songs.

Alright Pop’s, let’s finish this.

It was a hit of energy that kept me moving forward.

My plan was to never stop. I thought I knew my body.

If I stop, my body is going to shut down.

Then Joannie entered the picture. As we hiked together briefly, she asked me why I wasn’t taking any breaks. She pushed me, saying a break might actually be just what I needed to get me to the finish line.

Around midnight, during my ninth ascent, I started hallucinating as I climbed. I still wanted to push through, but Joannie’s words stuck in the back of my head.

After that ascent, I ate, I showered, and I got 3 hours of sleep.

It was the right decision.

My body didn’t shut down the next morning. Instead, I was rejuvenated! My final 4 ascents flew by.

That final ascent - wearing the Red Bib - was pure excitement and adrenaline. It felt like I was flying!

When I finally crossed that line at the top, I lost it. I was a pure mess.

All the emotions and struggles from the past few years came pouring out.

It felt so good to pull on that Red Hat.

After 29029 ended, I knew I was going to be walking into a shitstorm. I still had contentious divorce proceedings to deal with, and in the meantime, my career felt like it was in shambles.

But I’d learned something on the mountain that would help.

Instead of taking it all on at once, I was going to break it down into something small.

Instead of focusing on 13 ascents to go, I’m just going to focus on making it to the next aid station.

Instead of focusing on how my career had taken a few steps back due to restructuring, I’m going to focus on meeting with a few of my managers and speak my piece.

For the divorce, I’m not going to focus on all the lies being told. I’m not going to get overwhelmed. Instead, I’m going to focus on pulling together what my lawyer needs to take the next step in court.

Through all the threats, all the struggles, and all the challenges, I just focused on one thing at a time.

The lessons from 29029 continue to stick with me. In November, I received a notice of layoff at work. Instead of catastrophizing - instead of piling it on top of any other struggle I was going through - I tackled it on its own.