Christine Egan

Unfinished Business

By 29029 Everesting

October 11^th, 2019

What would you do?

I'm a breast cancer survivor.

Last October was my 8th anniversary of being cancer-free. I turned 50 in November, so the timing was perfect for participating at 29029 in Vermont. I wanted to do something that was outside my comfort zone to celebrate.

When I was first diagnosed, we had a poster in the house; it read,

'What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?'

For me, that was a marathon. So after a year's worth of treatment, I did a full marathon to celebrate being cancer-free. Dealing with cancer made a marathon seem like nothing. And that; my 5 hours and change of running a marathon, was the extent of my endurance sports experience. I ticked that box, and it wasn't until I discovered 29029, did I take on anything else endurance based.

At the time, I thought a marathon was out of my comfort zone, only to realize that there was something else out there. I had no concept of how difficult it was going to be to push myself up the mountain time and time again.

Beating to our own drum

It's fair to say that my family and I have never fit into a normal category. My husband Frank and I home-schooled three kids, we both run our own businesses and only work 20-hours a week. When I was doing cancer treatments, I didn't do traditional cancer treatments. I did alternative therapies. My kids were born at home. We have lived in this different world even though we're from Long Island. We live in a 'regular' neighborhood. This life, it works for us. Hearing Jesse Itzler talk about how 'normal is broken' gave us the confidence to stay the path. And continue on the journey, beating to our own drum.

Frank has been a fantastic partner throughout this journey. During 29029, he didn't leave my side except for one mishap. It was amazing to have the support of someone being physically next to you. We didn't talk the whole time, but I knew he was there. He knew what to say if I wanted to stop, and he knew what to say when it was time to rest.

Get busy living

My goal is to share my story so that we can turn cancer upside down. Cancer sucks, we all know that, but how can we make it suck less. For me, cancer ended up being my greatest blessing. It taught me that no matter your circumstances, you can be vibrant and healthy. I began caring for my body on a deeper level. I became even closer to my kids and reached a whole new level in my relationship with my husband. I gained the clarity to say no to things that didn't matter and yes to things that brought me pleasure.

That was my mindset then, and that is my mindset now. Our kids are a little older now, and Frank and I have made the commitment to 'get busy living.' That mindset escalated because of our 29029 experience. It opened up this whole other side of us and lit a fire under our butt. The things we thought we'd get to in 10 years, we're doing now. The experience on the mountain and being a part of this community, gave us permission to do more. We walked away thinking, 'why are we waiting, let's do it now!'

Pole by pole

At 29029, I had two major breakdowns. The first one was after the third ascent. I went back to our tent and started crying. I thought, 'I can't do this.' I wasn't expecting to feel so bad, so early. I sat there, and I had to decide how I was going to get back up the mountain.

I wanted to be in a place of gratitude and stop being so hard on myself. So, I decided to share my story and celebrate. I stopped at each rest stop and talked to the volunteers to thank them and talk about my journey. That helped change my mentality. Next, I broke the hike into small sections. First, it was the rest stops, and then as the mountain got steeper, I stopped at each gondola pole. I took a breath, I regrouped and kept going.

Pole by pole, I got to the top.

Emotional

The second breakdown came during the night. I wasn't prepared for the night at all, I mean, I had two lamps and all the equipment I needed, but it was still so hard to see. The terrain is so varied, I didn't have trust in myself to put my feet down in the right place. At one point, I slipped and landed on my butt, it was so steep, and I had a hard time getting up. Frank didn't realize that I had fallen and had carried on. We were separated for the first and only time during the weekend, and I was out there alone. I was still 15 or 20 minutes from the summit, and when I got there, I started balling. It was such an emotional release that I had made it to the top.

Frank and I had committed to hiking all the way to midnight. So after the fall, we took the gondola down, turned right back up, and hiked again. I'm proud to say that was one of our fastest climbs. It could have been the adrenaline, but we did it.

Leave it all on the mountain

We finished nine ascents on the first day, and the plan was to go back to our tents and sleep for a few hours and start again at 5:30am. We felt like 17 was still in reach, it would be a stretch, but still doable. When we woke up, it was pitch black, I didn't trust myself to hike in the dark again, so we waited. By the time we started, it was snowing, and the wind was crazy. I had a hard time getting moving, my body was screaming at me, 'let me sleep.'

Everything hurt.

Once we got going again, I was so cold, I was chilled to the bone. I needed to take a hot shower to try and warm up. It was then that I decided not to go back out, it was a tough decision, but it was the right decision. I was proud to have reached 11 ascents, and knew that I left it all out on the mountain, I did everything that I could.

During the celebration, Frank and I said to each other that we're good. We don't need to come back. It was one and done. We had nothing left to prove.

On the three and a half hour drive home from Vermont, something changed. We looked at each other and said, let's do it again. We called Matt from the 29029 team and said, sign us up!

17 or bust

Frank and I are coming back to Vermont, we have unfinished business. This year it's 17 summits or bust. I want that Red Bib. Last year, we completed 11 summits, and it was much tougher than I had anticipated. To be clear, I'm proud of our effort, but now that we know what we're in for, I want to see what we can do.

I want to tap into the community more. Last year, I felt like an outsider, and that's going to change. I know that I can ask for help, ask for someone to hike with me, look to someone to cheer me on when I want to stop. There's an invisible vibration in the 29029 community and an energy that can help get you up the mountain. And I know it's reciprocal, the energy you put out is the energy you receive. When I see that someone needs a pat on the back and a push, I'll be there to offer it too.

This year I'm bringing my three kids. I want them on the mountain when we ascend our 17th climb. I want to celebrate with them and have them understand what their mom and dad can do. I want them to see those moments of self-doubt. And the struggle; to see us come out the other side and do more than we thought we could. That will be more impactful than celebrating the final result.