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Aditi Deshpande

Just Try

By 29029 Everesting

May 19^th, 2023

I’ve often struggled with my mental health.

I had always struggled with low self-confidence, and when I emigrated to the United States, it only became worse. I didn’t have my friends or support network near me anymore, and I lacked the confidence to go out and build new relationships and connections.

I’d often just wake up, sit on my laptop, do my work, and then start all over again the next day. I’d barely even go outside to take a walk!

I had left India for the opportunity to learn and work in the USA, but I found myself wondering if I should go back. It didn’t feel like there was anything here for me.

One day, after a darker moment of missing home, I realized that even if I were to move back to India one day, I wanted to take some memories back with me. I wanted to try to find a community. I wanted to find something that would have a lasting impact on me.

I was scrolling through Instagram one day when a post from 29029 popped up in my feed.

I was curious.

36 hours of hiking? Sounds crazy. What is it all about? How does it work? What is this event?

Clicking through the website, I took in everything I could find about 29029. I read the event pages, read the stories from participants, and searched all the hashtags on Instagram.

It looked like the kind of event that would definitely have a lasting impact!

I knew I had to do it.

I had never done an endurance event. I’d never gone running - not even for a short one.

29029 was so far out of character for me. It was scary - not just like signing up for a 5k, but something much bigger. It was a massive commitment, yet I still found myself registering.

I was going to climb a mountain!

Although I didn’t set a goal to reach a certain number of ascents, I did have personal goals related to the event.

I wanted to improve my health. I had recently been diagnosed with diabetes, but the diagnosis could be improved as long as I was willing to improve my physical health. 29029 could help me stay focused on my fitness.

It wasn't just about physical well-being though - I also wanted to improve my mental health.

I wanted to meet new people and become more comfortable connecting. I wanted to find inspiration from others. I wanted to put in the time to better my physical health through exercise. I wanted to find a community.

I wanted to find some confidence on the mountain.

It was time to put myself out there.

When I arrived at the mountain, I felt lost. It was intimidating: both the size of the mountain and the number of people there!

I wasn’t talking much to anyone, my mind preoccupied with what would happen once I started climbing.

Coach Chris’ mindset minutes talk is what turned it around for me. It boosted my energy and recentered my focus.

Okay, fine, maybe I can do this…

I barely slept that night, and before I knew it, I was on the start line ready to climb.

The first half mile was ridiculously steep. I was going slow, and by the time I reached the first aid station, it felt like everybody had left me in the dust!

Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this after all…

A few coaches had started climbing a few minutes after the group, and as they caught up to me, they simply said, “Keep going, you can get to the top.”

It was so simple, but I needed to hear that. I was worried, overthinking how I was near the very back. I was comparing myself to others.

Okay, let’s just go. I just need to keep climbing.

I still hadn’t reached the summit when people started passing me on their 2nd ascent. For a brief moment, I felt embarrassed, but I quickly refocused on counting my steps. I was taking it one step at a time.

As I started to near the summit for the first time, I felt a hand on my back.

It was Coach Ashley.

She offered up some words of encouragement and helped me continue to recenter my mind on climbing. No distractions, no comparisons, just my footsteps and a mountain to climb.

It didn’t matter who was passing me. It didn’t matter how fast I was going. All that mattered was that I kept climbing.

If you had asked me how confident I was at the start line, I would have told you that I wasn’t confident at all.

Yet now, after 2 hours of climbing, I had reached the summit.

I made it!

I’d climbed a mountain - thousands of feet higher than I ever dreamed I would.

But that was just the beginning. I felt a renewed drive.

I can keep going. I can keep climbing. I can do this.

During my 5th ascent, it started raining. Shivering as I continued to climb, I realized I had forgotten to bring a rain jacket with me.

At the top, I grabbed a cup of soup and a foil blanket, desperate for anything to warm me up.

Is this the end? Is my body shutting down? Will I be able to do any more ascents?

Exhausted, sore, tired, and freezing, I had some dinner and retired to my tent.

I worried that my event was over.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep, and when I did, it was short-lived.

At 2 am, I woke up. I was restless, and as I turned my attention to my body, I realized it hadn’t completely shut down.

I think I feel okay.

It was strange. I felt a lot better than when I had gone to my tent the night before.

I had some energy again!

I got dressed and started climbing, my headlamp cutting through the darkness and illuminating my path for my 6th time up Snowbasin.

It was the longest an ascent had taken me yet - over 3 hours - but it didn’t feel that way. I just broke it down, focusing on one step at a time to get me to the top.

The sun was just starting to rise as I got off the gondola from that ascent.

I ate breakfast, and with a little bit of newfound energy, surprised myself by starting another ascent.

I’ve already done 6, so I may as well do one more.

One more ascent turned into another.

And then another.

As I set out for my 10th ascent at 4:30 pm on Saturday, I finally had a concrete goal around climbing: I wanted to get my ascent total into the double digits.

As I climbed one last time, I had time to reflect on my journey, and consider whether I’d achieved my goals.

When I registered many months ago, I had no idea what my experience on the mountain would hold. I had planned to use that unknown experience to improve my mental health, put myself out there, and learn how I’d handle pushing up against my limits.

I hadn’t arrived at the mountain with a concrete goal around the number of ascents to complete. I didn’t even know if I’d be able to do 2 or 3 ascents, so my only aim was to push past my comfort zone and learn how I handled that physical stress.

By all accounts, I achieved those goals, as abstract as they were.

I spent time - hours and hours - training my body, and I felt healthier because of it.

On the mountain, I talked with others and learned valuable lessons in connection. Before completing 29029 I wouldn’t even consider sharing my story. It was a struggle for me just to go up to somebody new and strike up a conversation. Now, I’m bearing my vulnerability for the entire 29029 community!

Not only that, but I've built myself a new community of supporters and friends - people from 29029 that I stay in touch with to this very day

Finally, I learned that I can do far more than I think, in all aspects. When the mountain got hard, I didn’t quit. I took it head-on and made the most of it.