Cecilia Leung

You Can Definitely Do This

By 29029 Everesting

April 3^rd, 2020

I WILL BE OKAY

Now, more than ever, I think about my time on the mountain at 29029. We are living in scary and uncertain times right now, given the global coronavirus pandemic. And that makes me uncomfortable. I recently thought, ’I don’t want to go through this, I don’t know if I will be okay.’ But then I caught myself, and thought, ‘No! I will be okay’. It’s going to be hard, but as long as I am still breathing, I will be okay.

I can think of the exact moment at Stratton Mountain when I had a similar feeling. I had doubts about whether I could get through it. But, I kept moving forward, one step at a time. And as long as I was still moving, I was in with a chance.

What I learned about myself on the mountain is so relevant now. It’s a reminder not to think too far ahead, that I can only take care of what’s right in front of me. And whatever that obstacle is, the opportunity to define myself stems from how I react to the adversity. Not the adversity itself.

FINDING MY OWN PATH

I have vivid memories of growing up and wanting an easy life, I wanted a safe path. I longed for someone to give me a script that I could follow. Now I know that going through hard things is actually the best path forward. The moments of struggle are what make us better. We come out of these difficult moments, stronger than we were before.

Even in those moments of struggle, my tendency is to seek control. In school, in my career and in other facets of life, the path is clearer. If you are driven and work hard, you will find success. For the most part, I have control over the outcome. 29029 was different. I have never been into sports, so this was all new for me. I didn’t have control. It was so far out of my comfort zone that it was scary.

I started to get anxious a few weeks before the event. I was disciplined in my training, but when I thought about the actual task at hand, I started to panic. I thought I should reschedule, postpone, or back out. I needed more time! I called coach Brent, and he told me these emotions were normal. And that a lot of people begin to feel the same way, and I should trust all that work I had put in.

IT'S 90% MENTAL

I started the drive from New York City to Stratton, Vermont early in the morning. I was lucky to have Ishita as company for the journey. She's one of the most uplifting and incredible humans I had the pleasure of meeting in the lead up to 29029. During the trip we had several great conversations about culture, work, and life. It was impossible to ignore the non-stop rain that pounded us for the entire drive. We arrived, and I noticed how cold it was. As soon as I got out of the car, I was shivering. Uncontrollably. The wind and rain were relentless. The rain finally stopped at around 6pm, just in time for it to start snowing!

I didn’t quite understand what it meant when people talked about 29029 being 90% mental. As I listened to the panel of speakers on Thursday night, it began to sink in. There were so many things that were out of my control, the weather being the most obvious. It meant that I had to focus on the things that I could control. The mantras I repeated to myself, my attitude, and my technique. Knowing that the climbing was going to be tough, I decided that I would commit to doing my best. I would not stop until I could not take another step!

INSPIRED

The mountain route reminded me of the Wizard of Oz. You walk through a long road, slightly steep but bumpy, and then once you get through a relatively flat area, the steep curve begins! The 1st climb was my favorite. I took my time and tried to find my pace. I spoke to each person I came by. I got to learn their unique and inspiring stories. Some had battled cancer or injuries and decided that they would not be victims. 29029 was a part of them living a focused, meaningful life, and it ensured they were physically and mentally strong. Others dedicated their climbs to causes or people they cared about. Some came with their loved ones. And some were regular people like me who wanted to challenge themselves. Each of their stories was uplifting, full of humanity, and truly inspiring.

AT PEACE

I do not enjoy the darkness. I don’t even like going out at night. People had told me how beautiful hiking at night was. A chance to experience nature and the mountain in a different way. As I started my first night-hike, I remember listening to the wind. I felt oddly at peace. I decided to hike into the night for as long as I could.

I found my mind wandering through the night. To times with my brother when we were kids. I recalled specific conversations I had with my mother or with my best friend. I remembered moving to new countries. Memories, good and bad, came to me, and they gave me a sense of comfort. I was struggling, but I felt the inner strength bubbling inside of me. I have been through so much and have come a long way. And a lot of the memories came flooding back to me during the night time hours.

Then, peace and calm deserted me. I started my ninth climb just before midnight, and it was by far my toughest ascent. It was the first time I felt defeated. It took me an hour and 45 minutes. Everything I was afraid of came out to haunt me. It was pitch dark, foggy, and I could not navigate at all. I was cold and exhausted! The heavy wind blew at my face, and I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. At one point, I kept slipping in wet mud. I could not for the life of me move forward. At that moment, I was angry and questioning why I even bothered to show up.

“Why am I even here?”

I took a deep breath, counted to 5, and tried again. Finally, I was able to move. It took everything I had to shut off the discouraging inner voice. I started shouting to myself. “I am here now, so let’s do this!” One step at a time. I wanted to finish what I started. After nine hikes and 18 hours, I decided to rest.

EVERY MINUTE COUNTS

After a few hours of sleep, I woke and took a mental check on my body. I felt rested, with no headache, and some acceptable soreness. I stood up, and my legs were fine. I could walk. I thought to myself, ‘let’s do this!’

As I started my day, I ran the math in my head. I had around 11 hours to complete 8 ascents to reach my ultimate goal of 29029 feet. Which meant I had to do each accent in about an hour. I had to save some time. I made the decision to cut breaks and bathroom times. I committed to run to and from the gondola and to have someone brand the Ascent Board for me. Most importantly, I knew that I needed to stay positive. Every minute counted!

ONE MORE ASCENT

Whether he meant it or not, I believed it...

I remember talking to Perry, a fellow 29020 participant and he told me that I had a great rhythm, and he believed that I could make it. “You can definitely do this.” He said. It was a pivotal moment, and suddenly I felt strong, powerful, and confident.

I remember starting the 16th ascent at 5pm. The mountain was deserted as most people had finished or stopped by that point. I made it to the top and ran to the gondola. I had to make it to the Ascent Board by 6:15pm to qualify to climb the last lap. And then I still had to make it to the top of the mountain by 7:15pm. It wasn't a certainty, at all! As soon as I got off at the base of the mountain, I ran to the board and made it 20 seconds before the cutoff.

One more ascent.

Coach Chris Hauth was waiting for me and offered to hike up with me on my final ascent. After 20 minutes we got to aid station number 2, suddenly the sky turned darker. He told me to continue as he searched for headlamps and lights. A few minutes later, the sky turned to pitch dark. I couldn’t see a thing. Then coach appeared beside me, holding a massive 29029 flag and a torch. He continued to encourage me as we moved up the mountain. He was kind, calm, funny. And at times tough! As we progressed, I started seeing lights and heard cheering in the distance. I knew the finish line was getting ever closer. I kept grinding, I was out of breath, and I couldn’t feel my legs. Eventually, I was close enough, and I ran to get to the finish line. I made it to 29029 feet using pure will, drive and focus.

I was so emotional. There were so many people there for me! Waiting patiently in the cold and dark to give me a heroes welcome.

KEEP CLIMBING

The final piece of wisdom that Coach Chris imparted on me was.

‘The best version of yourself came out on the mountain, and as a result, that version of you will show up in all aspects of your life.’

He said that I may not understand the immediate impact of what I had achieved, but that it would resurface at some point when I needed it most.

The entire 29029 experience changed my life. My goal was to complete 17 summits of Stratton Mountain. I didn’t know if it was possible when I started the journey. I couldn’t predict the obstacles I would face, the self-doubt and fears I would encounter. There was an internal battle that I had to fight to get there. And I’m proud to say it’s a battle that I won. The only thing to do now is to keep climbing!